...And Endometriosis

I’m going to take a moment to describe endometriosis, for those of you who don't know (which is probably a significant number). Endometriosis is when the lining of the uterus (the endometrium) appears outside the uterus. It takes the form of blood and tissue adhesions that can build up to a significant amount and appear on various organs within (and occasionally outside) the abdominal cavity. Over time, these adhesions build up and eventually leave a trail of scar tissue in their wake.

Not much is known about what causes endometriosis, how the symptoms affect each individual, or how to cure it. It’s not a well known disease. My symptoms were light and irregular periods, hormonal swings, and pain. Lots of pain. Worse pain than I've ever felt in my life. Period cramps throughout the month, pain when I took a shit, pain when I sneezed, pain if I moved the wrong way. And the worst was debilitating cramps that came on my period. Cramps where I couldn't even move. I couldn't think. It invaded every aspect of my life.

Before long, I was on prescription pain medication, antidepressants, and sleep aids.

People like to make fun of period cramps. They say to just suck it up. We all have to deal with it, so get over it! Right? I spent years of my life believing that I was simply a wuss who couldn't handle mother nature’s monthly gift, while other women out there took it in stride with ease. So it was almost a relief when I learned that there was something actually wrong with me. That these weren't normal cramps. The doctor told me what I was experiencing was like a version of labor pains, and that I actually handled it well and with a high pain tolerance.

It radiates. Yes, it starts in your gut, like someone has reached up your vagina into your uterus and is tying knots in it. But before long it’s worked its way up your back, into your shoulders, and down your legs. Your whole body aches.

The momentary relief was gone once I realized I would be living with this for the rest of my life. Oh, my period’s coming? Time to go make myself high until it blows over. No big deal. Just pain pills.

And you never know when it’s coming. One month, I may not have a period, and I am blessed with that respite for a little while longer. Another month, I may be half passed out on my bed, or vomiting in the bathroom. Or it may not even come on the month when it’s supposed to. It could start any time. I once cramped for 2 weeks straight, and bled the whole time.

All of the not knowing took a toll on me. I began to get severe migraines where I couldn't move or else shooting pain would sear through my head. They could last up to a week. I stressed. I couldn't sleep. I took more sleep aids and anti-depressants.

But I think the worst part is the taboo. The social stigma. You can’t talk about it. Even the word “period” is enough to send most people running for the woods. You’re alone. It’s a secret that you work very hard to keep. And thousands of women out there are suffering in total silence.