Boyfriends' Effect on Recovery

I just want to make a note about boyfriends and recovery. I know I talk about Casey a lot, and you guys probably get tired of hearing about him, but boyfriends really can do a lot to either speed recovery up, or slow it down.

Don't get me wrong. Being in a relationship with an eating disorder is hard. More than hard. It's like a mistress, or the third wheel. A threesome even, if you will. It's always there and the elephant in the room, and it tears apart so many relationships. Casey and I have a VERY open line of communication, which is crucial to success. And we respect each other and both have the same goal: that I get better.

He has the power to make me feel good about myself, or to tear me down. Feeling wanted and feeling loved has helped me so immensely. Every time he tells me I'm beautiful or pretty or sexy or anything like that, I feel like it chips away a tiny part of the ED. He asked last night asked how he could understand. He said he wished he could make me see me the way he sees me. That in and of itself means the world. His constant support means the world.

I know that at the end of the day, if I'm getting ready to go work out and he asks if I want to hang out, I will choose to hang out with him. If he asks if I want to go eat, I will go eat with him. If it comes down to some disordered activity and him, 90% of the time I will chose him.

So yes, I talk about my boyfriend a lot. Because he means the world to me and he has been so crucial in my recovery from the start. And crucial in my recovery from a past abusive relationship. It's been so hard to trust him, but now I do. I trust him implicitly. He is my accountability, my cuddle buddy (hey, we all need a cuddle sometimes, even if we are having a bad body image day and don't want them to touch the stomach area) and my rock.

I feel like in eating disorders especially, the boyfriend has so much influence about how the recovery progresses. My boyfriend is an angel. Some boyfriends aren't. Some simply don't understand and don't know how to act. They need to be educated on how to best help their partner (I say boyfriends, but this can also apply to girlfriends if their boyfriend or girlfriend has an eating disorder).

We need an open line of communication. I know I've said this a million times, but we HAVE to talk about it.