I've heard this come out of multiple mouths multiple times, specifically from my best friend's mother. people don't seem to understand how an intelligent and logical person can get sucked into something so ridiculous and unrealistic. I mean, can't we just think our way out? Can't we just recognize what is truth and what is lie and use logic to simple feel better?
The reality is, most anorexics are actually very intelligent. Most have been raised in high achieving families that push for success in academics, music, art, sports, and sciences. Most anorexics have perfectionist personalities and are straight A students. I got my first B ever last semester when I had my breakdown, read and write and learn for fun, am at college on a full ride, spent all of junior high and high school in a specialized accelerated program, and have the IQ of a goddamn genius.
It is this same perfectionist personality and high achieving history that pushes us to take something like losing weight or not eating or exercising to such an extreme. If we're going to do this, by god, we're going to do it right. We will excel at everything we do; even become the best. It's an EXTREMELY competitive and hostile disease.
Yes, I know that I'm smart. Yes, I understand that you don't understand how this can be. Yes, I can and do talk logic to myself all day and understand the ins and outs of psychology and nutrition, even if I don't truly believe it all at my core. Yes, I feel very invalidated when I look at myself and my life from a logical standpoint. Yes, I beat myself up about not being able to believe the logic I present myself with.
I beat myself up enough. I don't need you to beat me up as well.
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