Ranting

Well, I'm here at P-burg. Classes start today. I'm super excited because I got to see my boyfriend yesterday. I'm also rather frustrated.

I've gained weight. I know I've gained weight. And I want it off. I put on a pair of jeans this morning that used to be super baggy and I'd have to wear a belt with them. And they fit. They actually fit. If ill up the jeans.

I asked my boyfriend if he could tell I've gained weight since I last saw him. He said I looked sexy. He said I looked less like a skeleton. He said when we cuddled, my hip bones didn't dig into him anymore.

I'm so uncomfortable though! I just want this weight to be off. I just want it gone. I just want to drink coffee all day and work out and stop eating.

And this stupid endo! I can't sneeze or cough or move without stabbing pain. My boyfriend and I were "excited to see each other", and I had to stop twice to take a breath and wait for the pain to pass. And I feel like I have another cyst. You know when you just kinda know? You can just tell? It's on both sides this time though. I don't know. I had a sonogram (they had to go transvaginally because my uterus is retroverted) and they said they couldn't see anything. So frustrating! Is it all in my head? That may be my biggest fear. That I'm just imagining things and being a wuss.

I have my first class in half an hour, and it's Positive Psychology. That may be a good class for this semester. I don't want to lose my sunshine.