General Update and Blaaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, a lot of you have been asking how my sonogram went and what the results show. The long and short of it is, I don't know. I haven't gotten the results back myself. Most likely I will find out at my appointment on July 31.

You know how it is with sonographers, they're not technically supposed to tell you anything until the radiologist has had a chance to take a gander at the pictures from the procedure. Sometimes you'll get a sonographer who will talk, sometimes you won't. It's kinda a coin toss.

My sonographer was really sweet and gentle. especially with the transvaginal portion of the day. I did have to ask her to stop about halfway through because it was so painful, but she said that that was ok and that she got the skeleton of what she needed anyway.

She spent a lot of time measuring on the left side, but at the end she made a sort of cryptic remark that indicated to me that everything might be A-OK. So we shall see what the doc says on the 31st.

I have not heard from the colonoscopy people yet or the PT people, so I don't have those appointments scheduled either.

As for the sisters pics, I know a couple of you have also expressed desire and curiosity in seeing those. I get to preview them and get the CD in my hands on this Sunday, so I'll post a preview not long after that. Remember it is a surprise for my mom's birthday, which isn't until August 8th, so I probably won't post more than one or two of them, just to be safe. Remember, hush hush!

As for how I'm doing with my eating disorder, I have downloaded a new app that splits food into meals and macronutrients and that I feel could really help me clarify my goals and keep careful track to really nail down what my food goals are and get control of whats going on with my weight and nutrition. My therapist had wanted me to see a dietitian again for a few months, but I've really been trying to avoid that, so I'm hoping to just get it under control on my own.

High anxiety and trouble with drugs. I had that under control for a while, but that's back when I started cutting again. Kristy says it's like playing whack-a-mole, because with EDs there is often so much else going on. You get the cutting under control, but the drugs become a problem, so you work on the drugs and then you start restricting, so you try to stop restricting and you over correct and start binging and then you get to where you're eating normally, but back to drugs and cutting.

Big news that I've really been trying not to let mess with my head, but kinda is, my boyfriend's ex got broken up with and is back to the world of being single. Yes, I know, I still have my fake account and am still friends with her. Yes, I know, this is bad for me, even though it is to see if maybe she'll post a full body pic or something that might indicate her weight. Yes, I am trying to stop and am working on it so don't get after me about being creepy, ok? I don't need that right now.

Anyway, the point is, I'm trying not to let this be a victory for me. I'm trying not to take the "I win you lose" mentality. I'm trying to simply focus on my recovery and not her weight, even though I do feel like she is thinner than me. But, hey, I mean, so what if she is thinner, right? I shouldn't care? So what if she is prettier?

Ok, lets stop lying to me, I do care.

Blarrrrrrrgggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, so that's the general update of what's going on right now with ED and Endo treatment. Special shout out to Kate who just found out she's having a little girl! Congrats!

Also, just as some general housekeeping stuff, if you notice off the the left, you will see I have links to my Cori Baker facebook page and my personal Instagram and Twitter accounts. If you would like, check me out and follow me, or maybe shoot me off a private message or a direct message. I LOVE hearing from my followers and meeting each and every one of you and getting to know you better. It makes this whole thing so much more close knit and personal and allows me to post with some of you and what you're going through in mind. I've certainly gotten to know some of you and it has really helped me in my journey, and (I hope) some of you in yours. So yeah, check those links out!