Lots of growing happened yesterday. There were two big things that were causing me a lot of stress and worry that I conquered. One was the ultrasound and the other was the photoshoot with my sister for my mom's birthday (hush hush until August 8th! Its a secret).
The ultrasound is self explanatory. Went in yesterday morning and did a normal and a transvaginal. I had to ask her part way through to quit the transvaginal, and she said that was ok. She wouldn't say if she thought all was well or not without the radiologist's opinion, but she did make kinda a cryptic comment at the very end that sort of indicated to me that she might think all was clear and well.
That's all well and good, but it puts us back to square 1.
I mean, they can't see endo on an ultrasound anyway, but that would mean no simple solution like another cyst.
Anyway, so yesterday evening I went and did the photoshoot with Rachael, which I was OOBER DREADING. In case I haven't mentioned before, I really hate being photographed. It's something I'm working on, but something formal like this that I have no control over is really nerve wracking. I dont get to see the pictures and whether or not I look fat in them until next week and even when I do see them, its not about which pics I think I dont look fat in. It's about which pics my mom likes.
So, the growing has happened where I am deciding to try and just let go of these two things. They are out of my control now and there is no point worrying and stressing about what is now out of my control. I wont even know the results for a while, so no point in ruining these few days stressing about the future.
Just trying to be mindful in the moment now.
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