Antidepressants

I think I may ask my therapist if I can go on antidepressants. I was on them for a couple months about two years ago, but I went off them because I didn't like them. I've avoided going back on because they can cause weight gain. But I've just been having these mood swings that are so intense and I'll be horribly mad and frustrated and then 10 minutes later I'll be fine and then 10 minutes later I'll be crying and I'm just not sure if I can handle it for much longer.

I've gone back to some self harm and bruising myself. I don't know why I seem to be moving backwards. Well, that's not true, I have a hunch.

I just want to get below a certain goal that I won't say because I promised not to give numbers because it could be triggering to other people. Someone I consider chubby posted her weight as 5'7" and 125 last night online and I was extremely triggered. I ended up blocking a number of Facebook profiles and some pro ana sites on my computer, and now I can't figure out how to unblock them. Damn me when I am acting in a correct frame of mind. I hope I'll just forget about them all in 2 weeks.

Extremely triggered. I need something to get my mood back on an even keel. Maybe antidepressants could work. I don't know.

I just can't gain weight.