Email to the Future Me

So there's this site called futureme.org and you can send an email to yourself. You write the email and then specify the date you want it to be delivered to you. I chose 5 years from today. Pretty cool idea! You guys should check it out.

Here is the letter that will be delivered to me in 5 years.

Dear FutureMe,

Hi. Right now am I starting my sophomore year in college. I am dating a wonderful guy named Casey. I am also struggling in school and struggling with my ED. I have started antidepressants, and I'm feeling very down.

Hopefully by now (5 years later) you don't feel down anymore. Hopefully you actually managed to graduate college (with honors would be nice, but if not, I understand. I'm not sure I'll be able to stay in the honors program) and you have made tons of progress on the Anorexia. Hopefully.

Hopefully you are happy.

Even if you aren't all of these things, thats ok. It's a process I guess, and I know that things will come in time. It might take more time than 5 years to heal the hurt.

If Casey is still around, give him a big hug for me and tell him that this me in 2013 couldn't have done any of this without him and that he is special. If not, that's ok too. Maybe you have some other guy. Maybe you're single. Heck, maybe you've discovered you're lesbian or asexual. Who cares?

Whatever happens, don't forget your past. Don't dwell on it, but always remember the hurt. Remember how it feels. As I right this, I have just binged on ice cream and feel like shit. I weigh XXX. I am getting ready to go to the gym for 2 hours. I have already worked out today. I am crying. I am getting ready to take my biomedical ethics test tomorrow and am afraid I won't get the mandatory A, and that I won't be able to finish the term paper. I know it probably all seems trivial, but it is very real to me right now.

Me, did you ever go skydiving again? If not, you should. Did you ever succeed in water skiing? Did you ever finish your book? You should finish your book. Do you still blog every day? You should.

I wish this worked the other way and you could tell me what was going to happen to me. Will I be dead in 5 years? Will I get to graduate school? Will I be in love?

What the heck is love anyway?

Don't give up me. Don't give in. Life goes on. I hope you are in a good place right now.

With all sincerity,
Smoogley (remember the name? Do you still play league of legends? You should play a game. And robot unicorn attack evolution).

Sorry, I'll shut up now.
Smoogley (for reals this time)