These are the ideas that are being thrown around right now. Basically, I'm not doing too well. I'm sliding backwards majorly, and having issues with other psychological stuff in addition to the eating issues. I'm all over the place right now.
I'm really against leaving school. So against leaving school, it's not even funny. I have a full ride where I am now, and I would possibly lose that. I would also lose my forward momentum. I'm double majoring right now and projected to graduate in 2.5 years and then be able to move straight on to grad school. If I leave school, all kinds of hiccups are thrown into that plan. I would lose all my momentum.
Plus, I would be so bored! I feel like it's important to keep busy, even if just because it keeps me from sitting around all day feeling like a worthless lazy bum and brooding over my issues. I feel like free time would be a bad thing right now.
I might lose my boyfriend if I take a semester off. He loves me and he wants to do everything he can for me, but he says he can't watch me self destruct and he can't sit around with me being 2 hours away not knowing how I'm doing.
So I'm thinking maybe 4 or 5 weeks of Intensive Outpatient (IOP) at a center back home over Christmas. It's scary, because I'm so afraid they'll make me gain weight, but it's much better than getting even worse and then having to miss school.
I don't know. I don't know what I should do.
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