Dear Rebecca,
My therapist thought this would be therapeutic. I thought it would be kinda weird, but oh well, here goes.
You've got a lot going for you babe. You're beautiful and thin and pretty (which really makes me insanely jealous) and seem to have a lot of support around you. But you also seem to have a lot to learn. A lot to learn about people, and a lot to learn about yourself.
First off, you're not the only one out there who's struggling. Trust me, I know what it is to have health problems and to live with pain and to not know whats going on. I know the frustration of jumping from doctor to doctor and having no one be able to tell me what is happening to my body. Lots of people go through this, it's a fairly common thing. You're not the one person out there who is suffering, and you don't have to act like it and be a diva. We get it, you're struggling. Stop complaining now and focus on making the most of your struggles to become a better you.
Secondly, you can't treat people like garbage. You have people around you who love you and care; don't throw them away. 90% of the time, other people aren't the problem, we're the problem. We need to learn to take responsibility for our actions. While you can't always control how you feel, you can control how you act.
You're not special. You're not unique. None of us are. When they tell us as kids that we're special, they are so totally lying! We are just like everyone else. Now, that doesn't mean we don't have the potential to become special. We all can do great things if we work our asses off and turn the negatives that are happening in our lives into positives. Instead of wallowing at home in your misery (quitting school, your job, etc...) focus on moving forward with your life and overcoming school and work despite your handicaps. Most of the time, our handicaps are in our head. The walls we build for ourselves are much taller than any actually around us. And while our perceived walls may be large and thick and intimidating, they are just glass on the outside.
Addressing any kind of mental disorder or bipolar or depression. Hon, please. Again, you're not the only one struggling. Meet the poster child for mental health (or lack thereof). Just be thankful that you have a disorder that can be treated with therapy and a pill and MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.
That's my biggest piece of advice. Just move on. You don't have to advertise your problems to every one of your 500 Facebook friends. You don't have to make posts about how strong you're being and how you're praying for God to give you strength. You don't have to disguise that advertisement by asking for any kind of fucking prayers. Hon, you practically throw tantrums like parties. We get it. You're sick.
And stop leaning on God, or trying to lean on God or whatever. God won't help you. You're in the devil's hands now, and the devil always finds a way. You're in the dark, and God won't save you. It's time to learn to stand on your own two feet and rely on yourself. And people are like God. People are fickle and they will leave you when the going gets tough. Don't throw a pity party, take the opportunity to learn to rely on yourself and grow strong through that. You are the only person you can truly trust in this world. Learn to fight for yourself, because no one else is going to do it for you.
And get off the gluten free fad. Seriously, it doesn't help.
I would say I wish you the best, but honestly right now I'm just hoping you become fat and gain copious amounts of weight. Sorry, I know that's kinda a jerk move, but I'm just being honest here. Have a nice life.
Cori
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