So after my coffee infusion and insanely disordered workout on Friday morning, I drove up to KCI (which is now apparently MCI? I don't know when that happened. Those of you from not from Kansas City have no idea what I'm talking about though, so I guess it doesn't matter.) and then proceeded to fly out to LA and then San Francisco California. The flight was rough, my throat and ears started to hurt. But I chocked it all up to airplane air, changes in air pressure, and dehydration. After arriving in in San Fran, I drove up to Petaluma CA and got to the hotel sometime around 2AM. My sister had left a room key at the front desk for me, so I basically just went upstairs and crashed with her.
9 the next morning, and we didn't have to be at the church for wedding pictures until 2PM, so we had time for some breakfast, homework, and I worked out at their little gym. I wasn't feeling well, but I asked her for a few advil and I thought it would be ok. It felt like a hangover minus the drinking the night before. Headache, sore throat, hurting ears, the works.
We got ready for the wedding and I was starting to feel self conscious. I worked very hard to hide my self harm scars so she wouldn't see them. My family knows I have self harmed, but the only people who have ever seen the actual cuts are my doctor and my boyfriend. I know it's upsetting for people, so I'm careful if I'm getting dressed around people. The dress was a little black knee length halter too dress with bunching around the stomach. My boobs didn't fill up the chest at all, but we covered it up as best as we could. I wore my glasses because my headache wouldn't allow me to wear my contacts.
We got to the pictures and I was definitely having body image issues. I absolutely hate being photographed, but I just tried to keep reminding myself that everyone was looking at my cousin and thinking about how beautiful she looked in her wedding dress, not about me.
The wedding was great and everything went smoothly. Then we cleaned up the church and went on to the reception. This whole time I kept popping Advil and decongestant.
I had a hard time with food at the reception. I ended up deciding I was going to eat "normally", but then a salad, piece of salmon, 3 pieces of bread, and piece of cake later, I decided I had binged. I felt very full and uncomfortable, and the pictures afterwards weren't helping at all. I was also very very cold all evening and wore a coat, even though everyone else said they were burning up.
This was all Saturday. There were some good things about Saturday too. For example, at one point my cousin's husband (who I've become good friends with) said I looked very nice in my dress and that I clean up very well and was stunning. (I normally am very anti dress, so people don't see me in them very often). That of course made me feel good. I also got to play with the new baby (belonging to said friend and my cousin) and read to her and bounce her around. 7 months, and so adorable!
Ok, so back to the story. My dad and I left the reception around 10 because we wanted to catch some zzzzzz's. We had to leave at 3AM on Sunday for a 6:00 flight to Denver and then KCI (MCI. Whatever).
I woke up at two. Felt like I'd been hit by a truck. My head was pounding. My throat was sore. And my ears were killing me. Worst ear pain I've ever had. I was dizzy and disoriented and ended up crying on the floor. My mom had come in later that night, so she woke up and rushed to me. I was burning up with fever and covered in sweat.
They decided to get me ready to get on the plane as soon as possible. I was crying and crying out in pain, but knew I had to stop because it would just exacerbate the headache and ear pain. I put my shoes on, and felt like they were rather tight, so I panicked, convinced I had gained copious amounts of weight and terrified that I couldn't work out because I was so sick I could hardly move. My parents gave me one of my chill pills.
I don't remember anything else until Denver.
Cup of coffee. An apple.
Flying from Denver to KCI I began to get really nauseous and was in a lot of pain. My dad commented on how I was white as a sheet. As soon as we landed, he took me to the urgent care facility where they gave me antibiotics for the bug and steroids for the inflammation. It might've been flu, infection, fatigue, or any combination of the above.
I felt ok to drive back to Pburg after the pain meds and a little nap. I got to Fort Scott before it got bad again. My Endo was aggravated, the headache was pounding, and my ears were screaming. I was weaving all over the road, hoping I wouldn't get pulled over by a cop because I knew I couldn't walk in a straight line or speak in a coherent sentence and I had so many drugs in my system, they would probably think I was severely inebriated (which I probably was).
I finally pulled into town after the drive that felt as if it lasted for a lifetime. I collapsed on my bed and called my boyfriend. He came over to find me literally writhing and crying out in pain. He held me for a while and talked to me to distract me and tried to get me to fall asleep. It got better for a little while, but then came back with a vengeance.
By this point, I was absolutely burning up with fever.
I called my mom and asked her what to do and she said to go to the ER. Thankfully though, my aunt, who is an occupational therapist, was with my mom and the time and gave me some ideas of things to do with hot wet washcloths while she sent my boyfriend to get various over the counter medications. These things helped enough for me to get into a fitful and fevered sleep.
I woke up at 5 covered in sweat. Since I was already up, and honestly not feeling too bad, I went and enrolled in my classes for next semester (enrollment for those with Senior class status starts at 5 AM on the 11th of November. Juniors on the 12th, etc... Thankfully, my hours and honors college status give me first pick of classes). Then I went back to sleep with my boyfriend, who had apparently decided to spend the night.
Stayed in bed the next day, but feeling much better. My boyfriend brought over a new cuddle buddy that we named Ace. He really is the sweetest guy in the world, helping me with all my meds, coming over when I need him, getting ready to take me to the ER, and then stopping by with a "get better" T-Rex. I mean, who could ask for more. He's going to end up spoiling me though. Last time, it was a giant 4 foot long dolphin I named Dorian!
At one point when I was in really bad pain with the endo (being aggrevated by all the tension and inflammation and infection), he looked like he was about to cry. I told him not to cry and not to feel bad for me and that I was a badass bitch from hell who could handle anything thrown at her. He said he wouldn't cry, even though he came close, but that I was the strongest person he knew. I really do think he loves me.
My weekend saga complete, now it is time to focus on getting better.
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