Protecting Others

It's rather interesting. I was having a lot of trouble last night and I really needed someone to talk to. While all this trouble was happening (bingeing, cutting, etc...) I was actively texting with my best friend Ashby and my twin Nikki. But to both of them, I pretended like nothing was wrong.

Instead I tried to reach out to Josh or Ryan. Ryan was the one who answered.

I tend to work so hard to "protect" Ashby and Nikki. That's what I call it, protecting them. Mara too. I mean, they all know I have issues sometimes, but I still don't let them see how bad it gets.

Why do I feel like I need to "protect" them? I make it sound like I'm a monster.

I am, aren't I?

Or is that ED talking?

I can't escape this hell.

So many times I've tried.

But I'm still caged inside.

Somebody get me through this nightmare.

I can't control myself.

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?

No one will ever change this animal I have become.

Help me believe it's not the real me.

Somebody help me tame this animal.

I can't escape myself.

So many times I've lied.

But there's still rage inside.

Somebody get me through this nightmare.

I can't control myself.

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?

No one will ever change this animal I have become.

Help me believe it's not the real me.

Somebody help me tame this animal.

Somebody help me through this nightmare.

Animal I Have Become

Three Days Grace