Unashamed

So I was in my group processes class and was making small talk with my new friend who I met in Abnormal Psych. Majors came up and I mentioned that I wasn't sure if I was going to drop my Exercise Physiology major or not.

She of course asked why.

I himmed and hawwed and finally answered that it was complicated. She asked if two majors was too difficult. My stupid pride answered no, and that I would still be done in four years. I just didn't "know if it was good for me, you know?"

She made a funny face and said that no, she didn't know.

Normally people don't push these things, but every once in a while, you'll come across someone who actually asks questions.

And then I said it. It just popped out. I couldn't believe it. "I am currently in recovery for an eating and exercise disorder, and the classes are often very triggering."

She took it in stride (I mean, I guess she's a psychology senior, so she's not exactly ignorant) and said that I should do whatever is best for me and that my health should come first.

But that's not the point of this post. The point is that it was a landmark moment for me because I felt no shame. I stated the facts in a very level headed and open way without compunction. I wasn't embarrassed to admit my struggles to a new friend and say that I was working on recovery.

And that was it. The conversation waxed on and there was no elephant at all. No guilt. No hiding. It was rather refreshing. She didn't feel awkward, I didn't feel embarrassed and that was it.

Unashamed.