Collateral Damage

You ever get that feeling that something is so perfect and was meant to be, but you know that if you pursue it, you will be giving up everything you have in the here and now? You love so deeply and so completely, but your actions only go halfway because you're afraid of what truly letting go will look like.

And you don't want to cause the hurt that you know is impending. You don't want to be the girl who did THAT and send a soul spiraling into what you know is a dark pit of depression.

Collateral damage? No. I don't care what you say, but love is not a battlefield. You just want to get out of this situation with as little pain and as few broken hearts as possible.

I feel like I'm walking on thin ice some time. I feel so much so deeply. At the same time part of me says Ok now, it's just the BPD. You're borderline remember. It will pass. Don't let it make you do anything you'll regret.

But I'd rather feel this than not feel. Sometimes I think the borderline is a blessing. It allows me to sense on such a intense level the emotions of myself and others, and I can just use my logical side to keep it under control and not let it take over. What's the saying, better to have loved and lost than not loved at all?

Time to figure out how to tread this path without breaking any hearts. I feel like the Wicked Witch of the West. "These things must be done delicately"

Except, she was evil.

I really do my best not to be evil.

I do my best.