# (My Brain Exploding)

There's something I know I should write about, but I don't want to. I'm in a very bad spot right now. Last night I just jumped in my car and drove. Ended up in Manhattan and crashed on a friend's couch. It was a very bad ice storm I was driving in, the worst I've ever tried to drive. I kept thinking that if I made myself wreck at 80 mph, I would surely be dead and they would think it was just an accident on the ice and no one would think it was a suicide.

But something kept me from doing that. There was even a point where I spun out very badly and my instinct and calmness saved me. Maybe a little bit of God too, I don't know. I don't know why God would do that.

I need to write it out though so you all can laugh at my stupidity, so here goes.

I friended my boyfriend's ex on facebook. Finally.

There you have it. I never thought she would accept. Never in a million years. But she did. And I began to have a conniption fit combined with an aneurysm combined with a minor stroke.

"Casey's gonna kill me..."

Before I tried to rectify the situation though, I scanned her timeline. In 2010 when she was having gallbladder issues and was very sick, she weighed ______.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#

That little poof there is my brain exploding. TRIGGERED!!!!!!!!!!!!! She's so pretty! So much jealousy!

I knew I had to get away from it. So I unfriended her and sent her a message saying I was sorry and I hadn't realized who she was (lie) and she would never hear from me again.

She messaged me back (WHAT?!?!?! She's not supposed to do that!!!) Asking why I was so quick to unfriend her.

I said I didn't want to come across as creepy (true enough). I just worked with a number of endo support groups and helping people and I had heard someone in the area was really struggling with endo so I was originally checking to see if she needed support (LIE).

She said she was good.

She's blocked now. And I'm considering taking a 3 month fast from Facebook just to remove myself from all the comparisons and from all the thinspo that happens.

But that doesn't change the fact that I have done something incredibly dumb and am now extremely triggered.

Good job Cori.