I have to leave for Joplin soon, but just a short thought this morning stemming from this article: Huffington Post Women.
A woman writes about the judgement and stereotypes that have been put on her by other women just because she's not a mother (she had to have chemotherapy for breast cancer and it put her into menopause). There is so much pressure on us young girls today to find a good husband and marry and have kids, but the fact of the matter is, for some of us, it won't happen.
This is something I've personally been struggling with. If I have a hysterectomy for my Endo or get put onto Lupron and go into menopause, that's it for me. Even if I stay as I am, it is debatable whether or not I am actually able to have kids. I might be able to, but I might not. Everyone's different, and no one really knows.
This really hit me hard and is something I've been struggling with. I've often described to people that I don't even "feel like a girl anymore" because all of my womanhood has gone wonky. I do want kids and feel great envy when I see my friends having these cute adorable balls of joy and love (even if they cry and barf on you from time to time).
This article made me feel like I wasn't alone.
I'm sure I've mentioned in my blog (not sure if you've seen it or not) that my sister and I are both adopted. My mom and dad couldn't, for whatever reason, have biological children. I, for one, never thought of them as not being "my real parents." I know people often talk about how adoption is for the parents, but not as much is heard about how it is for the kids. To be honest.. it wasn't even a thing! So I didn't look exactly like my parents growing up... no big deal. Sure, my friends noticed and asked me about it, but it never really bugged me. Just because you don't carry a child inside you doesn't mean they aren't YOURS. <3 However it happens.. it will happen... and it will be right for you :)
ReplyDeleteWow! I mean, I'm sure you probably have said that before, but it never really clicked for me. Thanks you so much for saying this! It's exactly what I needed to hear. Of course people have said to me before "you can just adopt", but I've always thought it just wasn't the same. It's good to hear from your personal experience though that they are still your parents and you are their child. Whatever happens will happen =) Thanks!
ReplyDeleteyou are definitely not alone in your feelings ladybug. It does seem as though one might be less of a woman because she is unable to have a baby, no matter the reason. Reminds me of a tori amos lyric: "she's convinced she could hold black a glacier, but she couldn't keep baby alive. doubting if there's a woman in there somewhere..."
ReplyDeletethey say, God won't let something happen in your life that you cannot handle. in your life, it means you are hella strong girl! thanks for sharing your struggles, they are scary. and whatever happens, you have a supportive network to help along your journey.
I love that line! Omigosh. Now I have to go look up the song. Thanks!
ReplyDelete