No Scars

Apparently I messaged a trusted friend high AF last night. Said some things I probably shouldn't have. Scared him out of his mind. Definitely time to admit to my therapist that everything is not ok. I go to Joplin to see Kristy this Wednesday, so maybe she can help me get things back under control. The last thing I need right now is another OD and hospitalization. So yeah, no freaking out guys. I'm talking to my therapist.

Confessing to her what's been going on in my head will be hard. I've been hiding a lot, especially since Josh died, trying to be perfect in my recovery just like I always tried to be perfect in my disorder. Truth is it's not perfect.

Brief commentary on this picture, because it's so true. I would've put it on yesterday's post, but I found it after that was uploaded, so I guess I'll just tag it on the end of today. My parents think I haven't cut since December. Good news though is that I recently did hit 1 month cut clean! Brownie points for me. But its sort of a metaphor for what goes on in our heads, you know? Sometimes you don't see the scars.

Sorry for the short update and un-eloquent (is that even a word?) attempt at existentialism. I guess I'm not in much of a writing mood.