Bullshit Busting: Myths that NEED to be Addressed

I'd like to call attention to a few of my "favorite" myths about anorexia and EDNOS (I have had both diagnoses. I've never experienced true bulimia, so I can't talk about it with any kind of authority.) Eating disorders are frequently not understood by society, and people come up with false truths to fill in the gaps that they don't understand. Here are some things that I feel you should be aware of if you know someone with an ED.

1. Eating disorders are caused by society: My first therapist explained this one to me in a way that I thought made total sense. Having a full blown eating disorder is like a gun being fired. Before an individual fires a gun, they first must have a gun in their hand. Then they must load the gun. Then the gun can fire and they have an eating disorder. Having the gun in your hand is like being born with the genetic disposition and certain personality traits. Loading the gun is like growing up in a society that promotes thinness and in a family that promotes perfection. Firing the gun is a specific experience or sequence of experiences that spark the disorder. So while society does play a small role (identifying thin as successful and in control and a symbol of wealth and prestige) it DOES NOT CAUSE eating disorders.
2. Disordered people are just extreme dieters who are self centered and want to be skinny: Many eating disorders certainly start when an individual starts a diet. But the goal of the disorder is not to simply "become skinny". The dieting begins to fill some kind of hole in the individual and becomes a coping mechanism for other things that are going on in their lives. It is an easy quantifiable way to measure things like control, success, self worth, etc... I had a lot of trouble with this concept because for a long time I felt like I was just being self centered and shallow in wanting to lose weight. This is a guilt complex my therapist had a difficult time dispelling. It took a while for me to see what the real deeper issues were and for me to realize that I have many more serious underlying problems.
3. Disorders are ALL about control: Sometimes disorders are about control, but not always. And most of the time, the disorder isn't about any one thing. I know for me it's 7 or 8 things that are all intertwined. So confusing I don't even understand it all. When people ask why you engage in disordered activity. Their first thought is always "she wants to be thin." the second thought is "she wants control." In reality, there is so much more to the story.
4. If you tell a disordered person they're too skinny, it will help them see the problem: Most likely, it will actually do the opposite and encourage them to keep going. To a disordered individual "too skinny" does not exist. It does not compute. There is no such thing as "too skinny". I would lean more towards telling someone "you look sick" or "ill". And when it comes down to it, you can't tell an individual one magic word or phrase that will make them want to devote themselves wholeheartedly to treatment. It has to come from them. Even after an individual acknowledges that they have a problem and it is having an adverse effect on their quality of life, they may still not be ready to let it go. Treatment is a very scary thing. The individual has to say "i'm done" and got on their own volition. That's what happened with me. I was just done one day.
5. If they're eating, they're recovered: Nothing could be more untrue than this. I don't know how many times I've talked to girls who went to inpatient for 4 or 5 weeks (or however long their insurance allowed), got up to a healthy weight, got out of the treatment center, and then went right back to where they were weight wise. Even after you start eating and gaining weight, there are loads of psychological issues that still need to be addressed. Often, an individual will continue psychotherapy for anywhere from 5-10 years after reaching a "normal" weight.
6. Its ok if they binge as long as they don't purge. At least they're eating: I had to explain this one to my boyfriend. I would come to him very upset, saying that I had binged and I was just trying to sit through the discomfort and not engage in a second disordered behavior and purge or overexercise. All he cared about was that I didn't purge and as long as I didn't do that, he thought it was ok. He had the mentality of "at least she's eating." A binge is a very painful thing psychologically, especially if you don't compensate for it in some way. All disordered activities are created equal and bingeing is just as bad as purging is just as bad as restricting.

So anyway, those are some common myths that really tick me off. I hope I got to someone and helped educate somebody, because our society seriously has a lot of things wrong when it comes to eating disorders. But I guess that's one of the purposes of my blogging: to educate people.

Also, it helps me with what I call "purge writing." I get a lot of bad feelings out when I write. For example this week has been very hard, and I've been wanting to write about it, but I don't know how. A LOT has been going on and has been very triggering. Maybe I'll talk about that tomorrow. I've taken a couple steps back in my progress. But hopefully I can dig my heels in, stop the backwards slide, and keep moving forward.

Anyway, have a wonderful Saturday everybody. Be strong if you are struggling. And be kind to each other.