It is currently 2:45 and I'm trying hard not to go into my room and take the bottle of Lorazepam. I just want all this to stop. I want my mind to shut up. I know what I said this morning about being ok with it as long as I can help other people, but I think I lied.
Somebody take me to the ER? But I can't do that. I can't take the bottle; 6 or 7 grams, however much it is. Enough.
I don't want to DIE in so many words, I just want it to stop. I want the shittiness to stop. I want my mind to shut up.
I totally know how this feels. Wanting to die and wanting all the shit to stop are totally different things! Wanting the shit to stop is such an overpowering desire, and it's unfortunate that sometimes it seems as though death is the only way to achieve that. But if someone were to ask you straight up "do you want to die?" the answer would probably be "no." <3
ReplyDeleteIt's good to know that someone understands =( <3
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