Playing Hookey

The other day I was driving up to Joplin to go to my therapy meeting. On the way, I stopped in P-burg to meet with Rocky, my Honors mentor. He's the only other Exercise Physiology major, so we help each other out periodically. We had coffee and after coffee, he asked if I wanted to hang out. I really didn't feel like going to therapy, so I texted Kristy and asked her if we could reschedule. Then I went to spend the rest of the day at Rocky's place.

We hung with his roommates, Bonzo and Mason (both of whom I also know fairly well) and spent the afternoon watching Jimmy Neutron, ninja movies, and making bad Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson jokes. Later, Bonzo's brother and his girlfriend and a few other people came over. Rocky knows that I don't like big crowds, so we went into his room to watch another movie.

I should've known it was coming, but I guess I was in that sort of "young and naive" frame of mind. It started with the inevitable knee touches and shoulder touches and mild flirting. I heard Ed's voice in my head telling me that it would make me a more successful and valuable person to land another guy and reminding me of how good it feels to be wanted. To feel like I'm worth something. I knew Rocky was giving me the open door and that as soon as I gave him the go-ahead, he would take it up a notch.

I excused myself and said I needed to start the drive back to KC before it got too late. Rocky walked me out to my car and tried for the awkward hug. Then I left.

Love is not sex. Love is that desperate hug after not seeing my Casey for 3 months. Love is him calling me down to sit criss cross applesauce on the floor to color when I am starting to have a panic attack. Love is my boyfriend falling asleep in my lap while I wax aloud from The Phantom of the Opera, careful to pronounce all the french words.

I love my boyfriend. So much. And there is no way in hell I'm jeapordizing what I have with him. Nice try Ed, but I can't let you take this one away from me.